In today's society, the pressure surrounding marriage has reached such heights that it inhibits individuals from fostering genuine relationships with one another. Many unmarried women aged between 27 and 32 find themselves confined to their homes, their aspirations overshadowed by societal expectations. This scenario is all too common and tarnishes the image of our society. We must recognize that the cornerstone of human happiness lies in a fulfilling married life, with financial stability playing a supporting role. Rejecting promising relationships solely due to monetary concerns is misguided; our primary focus should be on fostering happiness and building strong families. Pursuing wealth at the expense of meaningful connections is a fallacy; material possessions can be acquired, but the intrinsic qualities of a partner cannot.
I firmly believe that while familial and personal attributes hold significance in a prospective partner, they should not supersede the value of a genuine connection. Postponing marriage beyond the age of 30 often leads to compromises, compounded by potential medical complications. Additionally, the prevalent practice of matching horoscopes exacerbates the situation, often leading to the dismissal of otherwise compatible relationships based on astrological mismatches.
The influence of traditional pundits further complicates matters, regressing our modern society by a century with their emphasis on kundli matching. This archaic practice has evolved into a lucrative business, with pundits dispensing vague prophecies on morning television without any foresight into their own children's futures. Meanwhile, societal norms dictate extravagant expenditures on marriages, followed by a fixation on material possessions and superficial inquiries into a potential partner's lifestyle, family background, and possessions.
This fixation on superficial attributes not only detracts from the essence of genuine relationships but also robs the youth of their vitality, as years are wasted in pursuit of societal expectations. We must harken back to a time when relationships were grounded in familial bonds, characterized by respect, unity, and mutual support. Divorce was a foreign concept, and married life was a journey shared through thick and thin, with values instilled in subsequent generations.
Sadly, these values have eroded, and the sanctity of marriage has been replaced by a culture of compromise and materialism. However, there is hope in the willingness of some to transcend societal barriers and marry based on genuine affection rather than societal norms or astrological compatibility. It is imperative for parents to awaken to this reality, as failure to do so will only exacerbate the situation.
We must reject the notion that everyone possesses a checklist of ideal qualities and instead prioritize genuine connection over superficial attributes. Let us not allow materialism to overshadow our humanity, for in its pursuit, we risk losing sight of the essence of love, family, and community. Society must awaken from its slumber before irreparable damage is done, for the erosion of values today will be the legacy inherited by future generations.
Today our society has become so conscious about the marriage of children that they are not able to have relationships among themselves, you may be able to understand this better.
"Today, many unmarried girls in the society between the age of 27-28-32 are sitting at home because their dreams are much more than their capacity. There are many examples of this type. Because of such people, the image of the society is getting spoiled. The biggest thing is Human happiness is a happy married life. Money is also necessary but to some extent. It is wrong to reject good relationships because of money. The first priority should be a happy world and a good family. In the pursuit of more money, good relationships should be ignored. It is wrong to guess. Property can be bought but qualities cannot."
I believe that the family and the boy should look good but do not let good relationships go in the name of more. Live a happy married life.
There is no marriage after the age of 30, there is a compromise and if seen from medical condition also, many problems arise in it.
"Today the situation has become even worse because of horoscope matching."
You think about the people with whom the horoscope matches but the house and the boy are not good and where the boy has all the qualities then the horoscope is not there and even though everything is good we leave the relationship because of the horoscope, think about the people whose horoscope is 36. Out of these, 20 or even 36/36 qualities are found, yet they are facing problems in their life because we did not see the qualities of the boy. "See the qualities of horoscope matching."
"Pandits have pushed the educated modern society back a century. Kundli matching, Kundli matching, good relationships are not happening in this matter and today the business of Kundli has become worth crores of rupees. Pandit ji is yours as soon as you turn on the television in the morning. They start telling the future and they themselves do not know what will be the future situation of their son or daughter.
Nowadays, people in the society go to buy twenty-four tanchas of gold for the marriage of their daughter (in a boy), within no time four-five years pass, they also spend time in the name of higher "education" or "job".
The way of looking at boys has also become a unique example of passing time?
Do you have your own house or not?
If so, what is the furniture like?
How many rooms are there in the house?
Is it a car or not? If so, which one is it?
How is your lifestyle and eating habits?
How many brothers and sisters are there?
Whose parents are in trouble during partition?
How many sisters are there, are they married or not?
What is the nature of the parents?
Do the family members and relatives have modern thoughts or not?
What is the height of the child?
How is your appearance?
What is education, earning, bank balance?
Are the boy and girl active on social media or not?
How many friends does he have?
Even after completing all the inquiries, more time is spent in asking some questions and having conversations on social media.
What to say about the situation, parents wake up only at the age of 30, but then this hustle and bustle of four-five years is enough to ruin the youth of the children. Because of this, good relationships get lost and parents shatter the dreams of their own children.
"There was a time when relationships were based on family lines." He also played tall. There was respect in Samadhi-Samdhan. Was together in happiness and sorrow. There was a feeling of importance of relationships. Even though wealth was less, happiness was visible in the house and courtyard. Whenever there was any serious matter, the elders would handle it among themselves.
The word divorce did not exist in relationships, married life was a sweet and sour experience and both used to support each other in old age and instill the seeds of values in their grandchildren.
Now where are those values?
The shame of the eyes is now history.
There comes a time for compromise in relationships. It will be okay even if the boy and girl are not from our community, such things are also coming to the fore.
Today the girls and boys of the society are openly going towards other castes and blaming that the good boys or girls in the society are not worthy of them. Because girls have crossed the pinnacle of modernity.
"What happens to horoscope matching when boys and girls marry with their hearts, then there is no question of horoscope."
These parents accept everything and then no horoscope, status, money, income, anything comes in between.
If parents still do not wake up, the situation will become more explosive. People of the society have to understand that girls should get married at the age of 22-23-24 and boys should get married at the age of 25-26.
"Not everyone has all the qualities."
Don't bring brass into the house.
Weigh your behavior before your house, car, bungalow.
Parents are also getting carried away in the financial glare.
In the hustle and bustle of money, millions and relatives have been left behind.
Families are breaking apart. Love and love are drying up.
This generation has made such a spectacle of families that the coming generations will only read about "sanskar" in books.
“Society needs to wake up now, otherwise we will keep searching for relationships.”
An attempt has been made to highlight today's situation.
हमारा समाज आज बच्चों के विवाह को लेकर इतना सजग हो गया हे कि आपस मे रिश्ते ही नहीं हो पा रहे हें आप इस से शायद अच्छे से समझ पायें।
"आज 27-28-32 उम्र तक की समाज मे बहुत सी कुँवारी लडकियाँ घर बैठी है क्योंकि इनके सपने हैसियत से भी बहुत ज्यादा है इस प्रकार के कई उदाहरण है। ऐसे लोगो के कारण समाज की छवि बहुत खराब हो रही है। सबसे बडा मानव सुख, सुखी वैवाहिक जीवन होता है। पैसा भी आवश्यक है लेकिन कुछ हद तक। पैसे की वजह से अच्छे रिश्ते ठुकराना गलत है। पहली प्राथमिकता सुखी संसार व अच्छा घर-परिवार होना चाहिये। ज्यादा धन के चक्कर मे अच्छे रिश्तों को नजर-अंदाज करना गलत है। संपति खरीदी जा सकती है लेकिन गुण नही।"
मेरा मानना है कि घर-परिवार और लडका अच्छा देखें लेकिन ज्यादा के चक्कर मे अच्छे रिश्ते हाथ से नही जाने दें। सुखी वैवाहिक जीवन जियें।
30 की उम्र के बाद विवाह नही होता समझौता होता है और अगर मेडिकल स्थिति से भी देखा जाए तो उसमें बहुत सी समस्याएँ उत्पन्न होती है।
"आज उससे भी बुरी स्थिति कुंडली मिलान के कारण हो गई हैं।"
आप सोचिए जिनके साथ कुंडली मिलती है लेकिन घर और लड़का अच्छा नहीं और जहाँ लड़के में सभी गुण हैं वहां कुण्डली नहीं मिलती और हम सब कुछ अच्छा होने के कारण भी कुण्डली की वजह से रिश्ता छोड़ देते हैं, आप सोच के देखें जिन लोगो के 36 में से 20 या फिर 36 /36 गुण भी मिल गए फिर भी उनके जीवन मे तकलीफें हो रही है क्योंकि हमने लडके के गुण नही देखे। "कुंडली मिलान के गुण देखे।"
"पंडितों ने पढे लिखे आधुनिक समाज को एक सदी और पीछे धकेल दिया कुंडली मिलान, कुण्डली मिलान इस चक्कर में अच्छे रिश्ते नही हो पा रहे हैं और ये कुन्डली का बिज़नेस आज करोड़ रुपए का हो गया है, सुबह टेलीविजन चालू करते ही पण्डित जी आपका भविष्य बताने लग जाते है और उनको खुद का नही पता होता कि उनकी बेटा या बेटी की आगे स्थिति क्या होंगी।"
आजकल समाज में लोग बेटी के रिश्ते के लिए (लड़के में) चौबीस टंच का सोना खरीदने जाते है, देखते-देखते चार पांच साल व्यतीत हो जातें है, उच्च "शिक्षा" या "जॉब" के नाम पर भी समय व्यतीत कर देते हैं।
लड़के देखने का अंदाज भी समय व्यतीत का अनोखा उदाहरण हो गया है?
खुद का मकान है कि नही?
अगर है तो फर्नीचर कैसा है?
घर में कमरे कितने हैं?
गाडी है की नही?
है तो कौनसी है?
रहन-सहन, खान-पान कैसा है?
कितने भाई-बहन हैं?
बंटवारे में माँ-बाप किनके गले पड़े हैं?
बहन कितनी हैं, उनकी शादी हुई है कि नहीं?
माँ-बाप का स्वभाव कैसा है?
घर वाले, नाते-रिश्तेदारों आधुनिक ख्यालात के हैं कि नही?
बच्चे का कद क्या है?
रंग-रूप कैसा है?
शिक्षा, कमाई, बैंक बैलेंस कितना है?
लड़का-लड़की सोसियल मीडिया पर एक्टिव है कि नहीं?
उसके कितने दोस्त हैं?
सब बातों पर पूछताछ पूरी होने के बाद भी कुछ प्रश्न पूछने में और सोसियल मीडिया पर वार्तालाप करने में और समय व्यतीत हो जाता है।
हालात को क्या कहे माँ-बाप की नींद ही खुलती है 30 की उम्र पर फिर चार-पाँच साल कि यह दौड़-धूप बच्चों की जवानी को बर्बाद करने के लिए काफी है। इस वजह से अच्छे रिस्ते हाथ से निकल जाते हैं और माँ-बाप अपने ही बच्चों के सपनों को चूर चूर-चूर कर देते हैं।
"एक समय था जब खानदान देख कर रिश्ते होते थे।" वो लम्बे भी निभते थे। समधी-समधन में मान मनुहार थी। सुख-दु:ख में साथ था। रिश्ते-नाते कि अहमियत का अहसास था। चाहे धन-माया कम थी मगर खुशियाँ घर-आँगन में झलकती थी। कभी कोई ऊँची-नीची बात हो जाती थी तो आपस में बड़े-बुजुर्ग संभाल लेते थे।
तलाक शब्द रिश्तों में था ही नही, दाम्पत्य जीवन खट्टे-मीठे अनुभव में बीत जाया करता था और दोनों एक-दूसरे के बुढ़ापे की लाठी बनते थे और पोते-पोतियों में संस्कारो के बीज भरते थे।
अब कहा है वो संस्कार?
आँख की शर्म तो इतिहास हो गई।
नौबत आ जाती है रिश्तों में समझौता करने की। लड़का-लड़की अपने समाज के नही होंगे तो भी चलेगा, ऐसी बातें भी सामने आ रही है।
आज समाज की लडकियाँ और लड़के खुले आम दूसरी जाति की तरफ जा रहे है और दोष दे रहे हैं कि समाज में अच्छे लड़के या लड़कियाँ मेरे लायक नही हैं। कारण लडकियाँ आधुनिकता की पराकाष्ठा पार कर गई है।
"जब ये लड़के-लड़कियाँ मन से मैरिज करते है तब ये कुंडली मिलान का क्या होता हैं तब तो कुंडली की कोई बात नहीं होती"
यही माँ बाप सुब कुछ मान लेते हैं तब कोई कुण्डली, स्टेटस, पैसा, इनकम बीच में कुछ भी नही आता।
अगर अभी भी माँ-बाप नही जागेंगे तो स्थितियाँ और विस्फोटक हो जाएगी। समाज के लोगो को समझना होगा लड़कियों की शादी 22-23-24 में हो जाये और लड़का 25-26 का हो।
"सब में सब गुण नही मिलते।"
पीतल घर में मत लाओ।
घर, गाड़ी, बंगला से पहले व्यवहार तोलो।
माँ बाप भी आर्थिक चकाचोंध में बह रहे है ।
पैसे की भागम-भाग में मिलों पीछे छूट गए हैं, रिश्ते-नातेदार।
टूट रहे हैं घर परिवार। सूख रहा है प्रेम और प्यार।
परिवारों का इस पीढ़ी ने ऐसा तमाशा किया है कि आने वाली पीढ़ियां सिर्फ किताबों में पढ़ेंगी "संस्कार"।
"समाज को अब जागना जरूरी है, अन्यथा रिश्ते ढूढते रह जाएंगे।"
आज की परिस्थिति को उजागर करने का प्रयास किया है।
Shekhar Gupta
Asiatic International Corp
+91 -9977513452
+91 -9826008899
Indore
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